I caved. I finally created a blog. I'm not really sure why. I guess its just a testament to how easily I give in to peer pressure, or how I am always trying to find ways to inefficiently use the precious time I have here on this earth. Either way, it should be entertaining for all of us.
What do people write in blogs? Do they describe their feelings? Do they share their life experiences? Do they instruct others how to correctly microwave a Hot Pocket without the need of a fire extinguisher? Or do they simply try to give to others encouraging thoughts on how to live life and how to live it well? I ask this not to find an answer, but only to say that I don't really know what I am going to write about. But, judging by my previous attempts at blogging, it would be unwise to try to predict what I will write about.
But I will anyway.
I may write a poem or two. Or write a short story. Or maybe describe what I'm feeling about the breakfast I had one morning that just didn't sit well. In any case, you can always expect to come away from my blog laughing yourself to tears, sniffling at a touching poem I wrote, or just simply crying because you never thought you'd see such a horrible excuse for a blog in your lifetime and are upset for me wasting YOUR precious time on this earth.
One way or another, you're leaving this blog crying.
For those of you still reading, I commend you. It takes a lot of courage to press on after what you just read. Take a quick break. Catch your breath. Eat a snack. Swedish Fish are good choice. Nice little red gummy fish that taste nothing like fish. Or the Swedish. Well, I don't know if that's true, as I've never tasted a Swede. Perhaps they do. I'll leave that up to you.
Back to what I might write about. I think I might write a joke or two. Lets try that now.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a pig?
I don't know, but I'm sure it isn't possible. I mean, come on, they're two very different species. How could that ever work, you know, genetically?
Hmm. That didn't really work.
Maybe I'll stick to writing about my feelings or something. Oh, wait. I forgot. I'm a Vulcan. I don't have feelings. Well there goes THAT idea.
On a serious note, I do sometimes wonder if I am part Vulcan, or robot or someone thought it would be funny to remove the emotion processor from my brain. I see a lot of people around me that react to emotional situations by crying, or doing the affectionate "awww" thing or erupting into an angry fire ball destroying that Wal-mart parking lot, but I generally am very even-keeled in any situation. I could see this being a strength, but it can sometimes be alienating. The only time I really react to emotional situations is when I'm sucked into a really good movie. This could be why I have spent so much time and money creating a way to enjoy a good movie to it's fullest extent in my own home. It's the only way I can feel feelings.
So don't be upset if don't want to watch a movie on your crappy TV. It's not that I don't like you, it's just that I need a good movie watching experience to feel human, and watching a movie on a 19" CRT just isn't going to allow me to do that.
You're still here? Impressive. You've done this before, I can tell.
In conclusion, read my blog if you want to hear the ravings of a mad-man, the wisdom of a half-Vulcan being, or if you just want to feel better about yourself knowing that crud like this exists.